Keeping Death in His Arms
by Amael21
Summary: In the heat of battle, Kougaiji saw something rare. It haunted him, all the rest of his days. COMPLETE.


It had probably lasted mere seconds, but Kougaiji would remember it until the final breath of his life, replaying it in fever dreams and the dark corners of his mind. Though the others had been there, none of them had been so close, the object of a wild predator's attention. They didn't seem to be affected, as Kougaiji was, by the fierce and terrible beauty in that face of death.

He loved them, Yaone and Dokugakuji, deeply and with honour. That was why he never spoke to them of this thing, this memory that gripped and held him tight, making their caresses as pale as moonlight. Kougaiji kept silent, never acknowledging the random still images that preyed upon his mind at the most inopportune, inappropriate times. Neither did he ever tell them of the dreams, from which he would wake covered in sweat and with deep, priapic need.

Years passed, and Kou remembered every second as if had passed only moments before. Through the fighting, he had become somewhat separated from the others of his group, a ragged bunch of youkai encircling him. They pushed him back, step by step, until his back met with that of another, and they fought there in a desperate frenzy, only knowing that they were safe from behind. As if on some sub-sonic cue, their attackers fell in at once, sacrificing a few in order to preserve the assault. Kougaiji, unable to summon in such a short time, only managed to take two down before they were both engulfed.

Outnumbered and flanked, their fellows caught in other battles, Kou and his counterpart struggled to hold on. While he blocked an attempted knife slash to his side, his ally flipped an assailant over his shoulder. The thick, muffled snap of the youkai's bones shattering registered distantly in Kougaiji's mind, just before a spray of blood coated his face. An attacker fell beside Kou, his nose crushed and splintered, bone driven into his brain.

The half-second of shock that should never have stilled Kougaiji's movement became their downfall. An unblocked knee to the abdomen doubled him over, pain knifing up through his chest as his diaphragm collapsed. Followed by a vicious elbow to the back, it landed Kougaiji on all fours, wide-eyed with terror as his body refused to draw breath. A heavy boot connected with his ribs, sending him sprawling with a frighteningly familiar damp _crack_.

Vision blurred with the pain, Kou saw only a vague image of colour as a youkai jumped on his ally from behind, throwing an arm around his neck. Time slowed, reduced to the agonizing eternity of suffocation; the scene before him played out like a child's flipbook of pictures. Kou coughed, pain arching through him, wondering why his own attackers seemed to have abandoned him. He didn't have the strength to look around, staring half-conscious at his ally's back. The youkai there yanked his arm back, something glinting in the light as it fell from his hand. A raging, anguished howl tore through the air, and then there was breath; then there was blood.

Kougaiji heaved, his body now greedy for the air it had been denied. The rush to his brain darkened his vision as the ally moved, sprays of blood dripping from clawed fingertips to stain the parched ground below. By the time the darkness receded, there was nothing left of the group that had surrounded them, and the one who had killed them was gone.

Kou worked to slow his breath, gathering his concentration for the strength he would need in order to move. His eyes darted around quickly, searching for the deadly shape that had wrought so much carnage, a tingling growing in his chest. Finally, Kou managed to shift his arm, intending to push himself up from the ground. A low growl stopped him cold, his gut clenching. He didn't need to see it, to know to whom that lethal sound belonged. Frozen there, Kougaiji waited for the inevitable.

Unfathomably, the attack did not come. Huddled there on his side, Kougaiji felt the heat of breath against his neck as he was scented. A kind of questioning whine followed, and Kou shivered to hear it. One clawed hand slid over his arm, thick with the blood of the enemies; the copper tang of it suddenly heavy in his nose and mouth. The touch was not gentle, tearing at his flesh as he was rolled onto his back. Kougaiji fought down the desire to close his eyes. If he was to die here, whether by hands known or not, he would do so with whatever dignity and honour he could.

It was wrong. The colours, the shapes, the eyes and scent were wrong. A deep growl, nearly a purr, issued from a pale throat to send shocks through Kougaiji's broken body. He clenched his teeth to keep from whimpering at the pain it caused, lest it provoke. There was nothing in those eyes that Kougaiji recognized, nothing left of the gentle person he thought he had known, and he was terrified.

Shouts in the distance were a buzz in the back of Kougaiji's head, the entirety of reality here, in the caress of razor-sharp claws that left crimson marks on his cheek, in the predatory glint of mismatched eyes. The next moments were a blur of movement, sudden and somehow almost unwelcome as a streak of brown and red hurtled past him, taking that mesmerising gaze with it. Someone picked him up, and a spike of agony drove through him, relieving Kougaiji of consciousness.

Doku told him later that Gojyo had been the streak, tackling Hakkai and forcibly replacing his limiters, getting injured in the process. Kougaiji tucked information away, repaying his debt some time later, when Doku's little brother fell into the clutches of Nii Jianyi.

Kougaiji never again saw that feral incarnation of Cho Hakkai, but he lived with it forever.


End file.
